Don't you send me to vm
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you will always have a special place in my vag
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My liver just had a heart attack.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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