Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
