your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
