someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
