i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
