He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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