We're like a lot better than the average bears
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize