So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Randomize
