All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
