I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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