Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
