Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
