I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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