How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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