it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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