Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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