i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
