I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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