So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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