Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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