my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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