I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
