I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
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Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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