i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i think i have herpe
just one?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
