you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
