Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My bed smells like the plague
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
