That's intense
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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