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I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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