I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
