We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
