just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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