I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
