It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
false alarm, still single
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
