i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
