She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
