I need help removing her.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
