I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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