I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
