so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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