if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
