Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
