I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
