is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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