New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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