Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i will never coherently bang her
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
