I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
