im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
