at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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