Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
