At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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