I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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