The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
