Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize